Engulfed in Allah’s Love

Engulfed in Allah’s Love
By: Aia Jaber

“Allah shall not burden a soul beyond its capacity,” (Quran 2:287).
For a long time, I thought this ayah spoke about external pressures like loss, financial issues, and any tangible problems that manifested its way into the mind. It wasn’t until I endured an emotional low that I realized this ayah extends beyond the tangible world. It applies to conflicts of the mind and the heart as well.
I realize that mental health is often deemed as “worthless” and is heavily stigmatized in the ethnic world. 
Phrases such as “return to Allah” and “just pray” can feel debilitating at times when they are used to belittle your struggles, but enduring periods of depression and anxiety are tests—just like loss, financial ruin, and health complications. They are real issues that can manifest in physical ways such as shaking, loss of appetite, and trouble sleeping. Sometimes your legs feel like jelly and your heart pains you. These symptoms aren’t a testament that Allah (SWT) is upset with you, but rather He is building you to make you stronger. Allah’s strongest soldiers are those who can deal with that which disrupts their inner peace, and yet strengthen their mind and heart, and grow in resilience. 
It is easier said than done to believe in this concept. Sometimes the mind dissociates and we’re left with this feeling of disconnect and sadness. I’ve recently begun watching Khalil Jaffer’s series titled, “The End of Negative Suffering.” In this series, he describes how to become more present in time, as dwelling on the past and worrying about the future can increase depression and anxiety. Within his lectures, he illustrates the human instinct to become comfortable in conflict, and how inner peace becomes disrupted by the voice in our head.
Jaffer’s series is accompanying me on my own journey toward self-enlightenment. It is important to deconstruct this narrative that poor mental health is a result of poor emaan (faith). Allah (SWT) tests His believers in a multitude of ways, and it takes a special kind of resilience to dissect the innermost struggles of our being, and then create greater faith in Allah through the pain. 
Healing is not linear. Some days will be better than others, and some days it will feel like the world is completely out of your control. Know that this is not the end, because Allah (SWT) is within you. He is closer to you than your jugular vein, as mentioned in verse 16 of Surah Qaf. And so, I ask you to join me on this journey towards inner peace. We will get through the hard times because Allah has guaranteed that our capacity exceeds further than our struggles. 

​Side Note*lectures mentioned include some Shia history but it is towards the end and the last five minutes of each video. For the most part the series focuses on Psychology and Islam.*