Have you ever wondered why it’s taking so long to find that special someone to help you complete half your deen (religion)? Or if you’re new to the search, you might be wondering where to start and how you might meet them. Perhaps you might bump into them at the grocery store. Maybe you begin your quest by using online dating apps. A matrimonial event? And after all this searching, you might wonder are there any single Muslim mixers in the GTA? Well, the options are endless and it can be overwhelming to navigate. Below are a few tips that might help you get started, as well as some extra tips to those who are already in the thick of it all!
The first question to ask yourself is, are you ready to get married? What does marriage even entail? Perhaps a little introspection can really set the tone for your search. An important thing to remember is the significance of marriage in Islam and to understand what marriage truly means. We reflect on what roles of a husband and a wife are. There is a really good course at Al-Maghrib Institute called “Fiqh of Marriage and Divorce”. This course walks you through the whole marriage process: searching for someone, the questions to ask potential candidates, the nikah (marriage)process, how to maintain that marriage, and even insight into divorce.
Make Sincere Dua:
Once you have determined that you are ready for marriage, begin your search process. Start by making an intentional, sincere dua (prayer)to Allah (SWT) and continue making that dua throughout the process of finding someone. Ask Him for qualities you are searching for in a spouse, the qualities you would like to possess as a spouse, how you imagine your marriage to look, and ask Him to bless you with a righteous spouse. You can make these duasin sujood(prostration) for a magnified impact, as well as in Tahajjud (Night Prayer), in sha Allah.
Your Inner Circle:
During the search process, let your friends and family know that you are ready and searching. Networking within your circles of friends, family, and relatives (if you feel comfortable) means you have the opportunity to tap into multiple networks. People know people and can always refer you to someone they know, as well as put in a good word for you.
Get Out There:
Put yourself out there! Attend matrimonial and single Muslim events that happen in the city. There, you might find the one you are searching for. One Soul Matrimony, RIS Matrimonial, and ISNA Matrimonial Services are some examples of matrimonial events in the GTA. Events for professional single Muslims are organized by a few organizations, some examples of which are MuslimMingle and the recently launched SingleMuzlimz – you can find these two initiatives on Eventbrite and follow them on Instagram for updates on future events.
Taking the initiative to volunteer at your local mosque or for organizations that you care for can also be a great way to potentially find someone with similar interests and values as yourself. If you are a student, join the Muslim Students’ Association and attend their events. Volunteer for their causes to not only make a difference in your community, but also to broaden your network. I can speak from personal experience about the initiatives mentioned above – they were professionally done, well-organized, and had a good assortment of catered appetizers and meals. I had a good experience, Alhamdullillah, however I wasn’t able to find anyone and I am still searching!
Online Dating Apps:
Lastly, you could join online dating apps. Although this is not my favourite way of doing things, it has become the norm. Apps such as Muzz, Salaams, HalfourDeen, and Shaadi.com are some examples of Muslim dating apps that have been successful for some people. I have also heard stories of people finding their spouse using non-Muslim dating apps such as Hinge and Bumble—although I personally find the latter difficult.
What I have mentioned above is not an exhaustive list of what goes into finding a partner—hopefully it is a starting point for some, and additional tips and resources for those who have already started their search.
I would like to end off with the concept of sabr(patience)—in everything and anything we do, we are taught to be patient. So let us have sabr and be reminded that what is meant for us will not miss us in sha Allah. The results are in Allah’s SWT hands according to His perfect timing and His perfect plan. All we can do is try and turn to Him with our sincere duaand ibadah(worship).