There's a sort of dread that fills my lungs as I prepare myself for the start of a new semester that already feels like it began eons ago. We are two weeks into a semester that I have no idea how to wrap my head around nor how to prepare for, given everything happening in the world and in the microcosm of the worlds we have created in our own minds. 

I packed my bags with fresh notebooks and a fully charged laptop, filled my pencil case with new pens of hope and faith that this semester would be different; that I would keep an open, optimistic mind to the endless possibilities of learning that a fresh semester brings with it. I remember, wistfully now, but with great joy looking at the prospect of a blank agenda with pages that I had the permission to draw on in whatever colours, fonts, and styles that I wanted. For a brief moment, I almost believed in the illusion of tabula rasa.

We do not however begin with a blank slate just because the digit at the end of the year changed or because the semester has a whole set of new professors, new classmates and new courses on a completely new schedule. I have been struggling with this for a while because I believed in the magic and miracles of starting things afresh until I realized that we are all creatures of habits. The day, year or semester changing does not indicate true change until we decide to transform ourselves. The thing with self-transformation is though, it is the slowest and most challenging process because even when we are unhappy with our states of affairs, the energy required to change our lives around simply does not exist.

It got me thinking then how someone like me, who has felt like they are ashes scattered to the wind after the emotional, physical and existential burnout of the last semester, needs to evolve their patterns slowly until I build a healthier lifestyle. I am now working to understand myself better, understand my capacities better and also show myself grace and compassion to allow myself to make mistakes. This has been extremely challenging for me because I have often turned to others to show me empathy when I myself fall into a self-deploring cycle of anger and exhaustion. 

A video I watched a while ago helped me remember that I am responsible for replacing new, desirable habits with old, unhelpful habits to build new patterns. Habits essentially are decisions that I no longer have to manually make, because the patterns leading up to those behaviours have become automatic through practice. I began to make a list of habits I want to include in my life and habits that were detrimental to me and started making an intention to work on what I could. Intention has been at the heart of my evolution because it connects me to Allah SWT and centers me in the accountability that Allah SWT cares and He is watching over me as Ar-Raqeeb (The All-Observing).

I am scaling an upwards Everest in this pursuit but reframing has been pivotal to my experience of the semester. I am realizing that the change I have been miraculously hoping for has to come from within and as a function of the changes I intentionally make in my own life and mindset. This is not an easy journey but I hold onto the faith that it is worthwhile and necessary if we hope to have sustainability in our own lives as we brace ourselves against the violence we see happening in the world. It is not an easy feat to carry on with normalcy when there is no such thing as 'normal' in the current sociopolitical climate. I pray that everyone has a fruitful and successful semester and that the troubles of the world, both on a personal and global level evaporate by His infinite mercy, Ameen! 

Whether or not Winston Churchill is a quotable man, is a debate for another day. There is, however, something about this quote that speaks to the resilience that we have to develop in the face of failure — an almost persistent stubbornness and 'delusion' about the conviction of good things happening to us that I think is based in tawakkul (complete trust in Allah SWT) and qadr (Allah's SWT decree). Having watched 12th Fail twice recently, I am reminded again and again of this quote and the idea that no matter how much we think a failure on our record is fatal or permanent, there is so much life and so many experiences that we are yet to transform through and grow from. 

12th Fail​ is a Bollywood movie based on the true story of Manoj Kumar Sharma, assayed by Vikrant Massey and his journey to becoming an IPS officer in India, which is an extremely rigorous and competitive process. His story begins with his life in a small village where the teachers and village leaders plot together to help the students cheat and pass their final exams so that they can improve the village's literacy rate. He, himself, writes out several cheat sheets in preparation for this exam but this well-thought out conspiracy is foiled by an honest and diligent officer whose stature and power impress Manoj. From the officer, Manoj learns that if he wants to accomplish anything in his life, he must give up cheating and he does. He fights through all the challenges and hurdles that life throws at him, braves with courage the hardships he faces and masters the art of diligence and resilience. 

It might feel strange to read about a Bollywood movie and non-Muslim characters on a Muslim blog but there were so many lessons that are relevant to us as students as we pursue our academic journeys that I found it important to share these reminders with our community.

There is a point in the movie where Manoj is at a crossroads and his last attempt of achieving his goal and he gets asked what he will do if he fails even on his last attempt as that would indicate that his dream of becoming an IPS officer would falter. He very wisely and brilliantly replies that the goal was never to become an IPS officer, that was just the path he chose to eliminate corruption and cheating in his village because he was inspired by the command that officer had through his position. What a beautiful way to cope with the rejections, failures and hardships that grace our path — to see them as redirections and as means to an end. If we place our trust in Allah SWT, we can see the falling apart as an indication of falling into place where He so chooses to place us. 

Another lesson I learnt from Manoj was to keep your friends close on your journey. They are the ones who celebrate your achievements as their own, who add joy to your happiness, who partake in your blessings and who ensure that you are not alone in the hurdles that come on your path. There are several scenes where Manoj almost gives up hope, calls it quits and forsakes his Personal Legend but then his friends step in and rekindle his passion for his path.

At the same time, this gruelling, heart-exhausting energy that is required to endure the obstacles of our destiny reminds me of the fulfillment of Allah's SWT qadr whereby no matter how much we try to let things go, or get things done, they will not happen until Allah SWT says "kun fayakun" (Be, and it is). This became especially salient for me as I became skeptical of my journey in my program, feeling out of place, unsure, not getting the grades I worked so hard for and doubting my choices. I then turned to Manoj's example and resonated with the idea that Allah SWT is the one writing our destiny and that He has intended the best for us in all of our endeavours; that there is purpose in this placement and it is my job to be grateful, work hard and let the path unfold itself to me.

There are plenty of lessons and things to celebrate in this warm, artistic film that touches so close to the human heart and sentiments. May Allah SWT ensure our semester is a smashing success across all disciplines and fields and trajectories. Ameen! 

All my childhood, I sat on my prayer mat with tears in my eyes pleading Allah SWT for a best friend that truly understood me. A best friend that was similar to me in faith. I asked Allah SWT for an Iraqi Shia girl, just like me, in the hopes that I would never have to over-explain myself again. A girl that I could call sister and have sleepovers with. A friendship that would last in this life and the next. My heart desired a community, and Allah SWT brought me an abundance of love and faith through the beautiful people He has put in my life. 

The majority of my childhood was spent in waiting for the right moment my parents would send me to Camp Taha—a Muslim camp in Michigan. The anticipation burned inside of me seeing my cousins and brothers attend each summer. Their stories and transformations made me yearn for a place I had not seen for more than a few minutes. I remember, in times where my family would drive down to visit my brother, the camp felt so large because my frame was so small. 

The summer after the fifth grade I gladly informed my class I would be attending Camp Taha. My parents simply agreed because my eldest cousin said she would take care of me. At this time, my cousins were old enough to be camp counselors. Other than her, I knew no one else attending, and so the woods would offer me the challenge of making new friends. ​

Blog Team: What is your role within TMV?
Naqaweh: I am one of the Creative Co-Directors at TMV; I am in charge of the graphic design for articles, editing layout and overseeing creative decisions for the magazine. 

Allah (SWT) advises us in the Qur’an about the nature of the human being. As an engineer, whenever anything breaks, my first instinct is to go to the manual. The Qur'an is the manual of life, the manual for society and of all existence. Currently, the world feels like it’s falling apart. So, I did what my instincts demanded and I checked the manual, the Qur’an. So much of the current crisis in Palestine was put into perspective for me, and while it still pained me a great deal to see my brothers and sisters suffering, I understood why the Palestinians themselves haven't lost hope yet. To try and understand the tenacity of the Palestinians there is an obvious solution: we check the Qur'an and the Seerah (Biography of the Prophet).

The Prophet (SAW) and his companions faced a very dark time during the Meccan da'wah (invitation to Islam) period. When the Quraysh realized that the monotheism that the Prophet (SAW) was calling for would force them to reform their corrupt lifestyles, they lashed out and persecuted any who dared follow his message. To protect their privilege, they tortured the weak amongst the companions of the Prophet (SAW). The Sahabah (companions of the Prophet (SAW)) were resilient and they were the best of humanity; however they were still human. Khabab Ibn Arat (RA) was a slave blacksmith, a valuable resource to any slave-owner. His owner was a cruel woman, and when he (RA) embraced Islam, she tortured him using his own tools. He (RA) was beaten with the metal bars that he would forge. Coals from the blast furnace would be pressed against his back to the point where his skin would melt off. When, understandably, Khabab (RA) eventually complained to the Prophet (SAW), the Prophet responded: "Among the nations before you a (believing) man would be put in a ditch that was dug for him, and a saw would be put over his head and he would be cut into two pieces; yet that (torture) would not make him give up his religion. His body would be combed with iron combs that would remove his flesh from the bones and nerves, yet that would not make him abandon his religion. By Allah, this religion (i.e. Islam) will prevail till a traveler from Sana (in Yemen) to Hadramaut will fear none but Allah, or a wolf as regards his sheep, but you (people) are hasty." (Sahih al-Bukhari 3612) 

There is a lot to unpack in this hadith. First, the Prophet (SAW) is implying that in the suffering there is benefit. Certainly, with hardship there is ease (94:6). When a human is tried and tested over and over again, they learn and become stronger. Bad times create strong humans. If there is no reason to get stronger, the human will not expend energy to become stronger. It's evolutionarily unwise to do so. He (SAW) also gave hope to the companions by telling them that their efforts are not in vain. Their success will be so great there will be peace in the entirety of the Arab lands. To put this statement into context, consider the following: at that point, Islam probably had fewer than 20 adherents and the Arabian peninsula was ravaged by raiders, thieves and tribal disputes. The success he (SAW) describes is unprecedented and seems unattainable. Finally, the Prophet (SAW) inspires them through examples of people who lived in the previous nations; he (SAW) reminds them that although that man had his flesh separated from his bones, he did not give up his religion, and thus attained Jannah (paradise). He (SAW) reframes the situation for them, and he clarifies the reality of what they are seeking. Worldly success is worth striving for, but the reward in the next life is better and everlasting.​

The Prophet (SAW) also mentions a key component of the human being. He (SAW) tells the companions (RA) "but you are hasty.” Allah in the Qur'an mentions the verse, "the human being was created from haste, I will show you my signs so do not be hasty." (21:37) Being hasty is an ingredient in the creation of the human being. As human beings, we are intrinsically hasty. Think about the common statements of a child: "Are we there yet?" or "But I don't want to do my homework, I want ice cream now!" As we grow up, we learn to tame that impatience and as we tame it, we become more mature. We become capable of delaying gratification and of self-sacrifice. Allah (SWT) has promised us that He will show us his miracles, in this world and the next; we should strive to stay in a state where we are able to delay and sacrifice for the sake of Allah (SWT).

One of the best ways to get into the mindset of delaying our worldly pleasure for the hereafter is simply to remember the next world. Not a page of the Qur’an passes by without the mention of death or the next world. Ar-Rabee' Ibn Khuthaym was one of the Tabi'een, a member of the generation after the Sahabah. He was known to have dug a grave inside his own living room, and when he felt like he was too attached to the dunya (the world), he would sit in the grave in the dark and picture himself having just died. He would repeat the verse in the chapter of Surat al-Mu'iminoon, "My Lord take me back!" (23:99). This ayah (verse) describes the state of someone who dies in a state of heedlessness. What a chilling thought! To die without having prepared for the next life! It's the stomach churning feeling of walking into an exam completely unprepared, magnified a million times. How can we prefer the dunya when this is the reality? This is a test that we can't afford to procrastinate for. 

Everything in this world is a test and every test is an opportunity to draw closer to Allah (SWT). Our brothers and sisters in Gaza are facing a grave trial and In Sha Allah, they are being accepted as martyrs and witnesses testifying that that there is no God but God. However, we always need to reflect on our own condition. Living our Western lifestyles, filled with decadence and luxuries, we are also being tested. Whilst our trial isn't as stark and brutal, it's insidious and has the ability to destroy us, both in this world and the next. When we are resurrected on the final day, we will be questioned, “why did you allow your brothers and sisters to be oppressed?” Can we truly say that we tried everything in our power to return safety and security back to the lands of the Muslims? Subhan’Allah, we go out on the streets, protest and yell for a few hours, then go home feeling that we have already liberated The Holy Land. We quickly forget that the occupation of Palestine isn't just a problem right now, it's been a problem that we have neglected as an Ummah for decades. It's not enough to send thoughts and prayers. It's not enough to send relief and aid. It's not enough to advocate for our rights. All of these avenues should be taken, but they are not enough! If we are simply seeking to soothe our guilty conscience for living a life of luxury while our brothers and sisters suffer, then we can stop our action here. However, disciplined and consistent work needs to be done in our homes, communities and nations to develop ourselves and our institutions. In our current state, most Muslims study and work, and their highest aspiration is simply to fill their bellies. We need to be far more ambitious. We need to develop ourselves not just in religion, but in everything we do. As Muslims, we should be world leaders in science, politics, advocacy and business so as to claim our rights, not simply ask for them. Living in this land of freedom and security, we are given the opportunities to do that; we just need to overcome ourselves.

In the Qur'an, we see an example of how an oppressed nation was freed. The children of Israel had been enslaved by the Pharaoh. He kept them in humiliation and weakness, slaughtering their male newborns every second year to quell the demographic threat. Musa (AS) was not raised under the yoke of the Egyptian people, rather he was raised as a prince in the palace of the Pharaoh. He was educated, he was taught the arts of leadership, statecraft, and everything else that a prince might learn. Furthermore, he was raised by two amazing women: his biological mother, a woman who was so close to Allah (SWT) that she received inspiration from Him, and his adopted mother, the wife of the Pharaoh, a woman who was also divinely guided to the point where she is mentioned in the Qur'an (66:11). With this combination of worldly knowledge learned in the palace and spiritual knowledge acquired from his mothers, Musa (AS) challenged the Pharaoh. We as Muslims living in the West are like Musa (AS) living in the Pharaoh's palace. Musa (AS) understood that his luxurious lifestyle was built on the backs of his oppressed brothers and sisters. He (AS) always remained grateful and strove to give back to the community that enabled his success. He (AS) used the talents he developed in the Pharaoh's palace to eventually challenge the oppressor and free the oppressed.

It's natural to feel despair about what is happening in Palestine. However, we need to recognize that our despair comes from our hasty nature. There is hope even in this dark time, the narrative around the world is changing and the veil of propaganda is being pierced. As Muslims, we have the numbers, but we are weak because of our love of the dunya. This weakness allows foreign nations to help themselves to our nations the way people help themselves to food at a dinner table. To overcome this weakness, we must disconnect from worldly pleasures and constantly be in a state of remembrance of the Akhirah (afterlife). Always remember what is at stake; not just the land of Palestine, not just the lives and well-being of several million people, but our entire eternity in the hereafter. As Muslims, we need to follow the Qur'an and have a longer term vision for not just liberating Palestine, but for uplifting the entire Ummah. Every individual will be questioned according to their capacity and we need to get to a state where we are able to truly and sincerely tell Allah (SWT) on the last day "Yes Allah, I did everything I could."

It always amazes me how quickly the times change, Subhan’Allah. When I was hired to be the editor-in-chief and as I began planning for what the year would look like, I had no idea that it would be riddled with so much collective grief and trauma. Yet, there have been these revolutionary undercurrents of our strengthening faith in Allah’s (SWT) justice and mercy, our inspiration to lean into resilience through our community and our ability to come together to hold space for each other. There is no healing without dialogue and even though we planned to go in one direction when we began the academic year, Allah’s (SWT) plans triumph over all of our imaginations. This space is for you—a platform to have your voice amplified, to share your experiences, reflections, journeys and to contribute to the collective Muslim Experience. We welcome all blog posts, taking whatever form of writing that best expresses your stories, to share and create a shared narrative. This can include recommendations, reflections, reviews and any tale that you would be willing to share from the vantage point of The Muslim Experience. As a first year Masters of Social Work  student, I am finding that the way I think about the world is changing. We need to create spaces where we can show up holistically. We may all be leading our own personal legends (The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, anyone?) and taking our own paths but we are on this journey together—my hope is that our blog platform can reflect that In Sha Allah. Below, I present to you my wonderful team members who will be monitoring blog post submissions, editing and connecting your voice to our platform: 

As the associate editor, I look forward to connecting with you—your thoughts, your emotions, your interests, your humor—through your blog posts. I believe that writing offers a window into one’s soul, and is a mirror that reflects our diverse realities. Oftentimes, readers see their own reflection in the words of others. Though we may all come from different ethnic, cultural, and academic backgrounds, there will always be something in someone else’s writing or (Muslim) experience that we can relate and/or connect to, and that is a beautiful gift from Allah (SWT), who swore “by the pen and what everyone writes” (Quran 68:1). I hope that all of you will be inspired to share your experiences and views with us. In doing so, I hope we can inspire others and strengthen the bonds within our community. 

As blog co-director, the blog to me represents a space for Muslims at UofT to express themselves on any topic that happens to fascinate and vitalize them at the moment. Sometimes, it may simply be a book we’re reading that we want to talk endlessly about (as I have felt about certain books). Other times, it may be a personal story from which we want to share important, valuable lessons. Further still, we may wish to touch on global events and give our own reflections upon them. All of these are welcome and appreciated, and I look forward to reading submissions and tuning into The Muslim Voice.

At this stage of my life, everything is new. Just as I begin to find my footing, I am hurled back down by the collective pain of the Ummah. As I anchor my response in allyship, solidarity and strength, I call upon students who belong to the UofT community to share their stories. I can only speak to my case and in acknowledgment of that individuality and as the second blog co-director, I invite you to share yours. The TMV blog wishes to compile the plight, insights and experiences of the student body in the blog. We have a lot to learn from each other and I implore you to be a part of the learning process.

We thank you for reading this blog post and for trusting us with any of the words that you choose to share through us. We continue to pray for the healing and wellness of our entire community and Ummah—Ameen!

Sincerely,

Heba Khan (Editor-in-Chief, MSW Student), Soundous Louardiane (Associate Editor), Zoyeb Ehsan (Blog Co-Director) & Yumna Khan (Blog Co-Director)

We cannot wait to read your blog posts! Please submit here: ​https://tinyurl.com/TMVBlogs